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Lynn Mumbing Mejia

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relationships ·

5 Keys To A Successful Relationship

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My 8 year dating anniversary is around the corner! April 1st, 2013 is the day that my husband asked me to be his girlfriend! We were high school sweethearts and got married a year and a half ago. We have been through it all. We met through our part-time job working at McDonald’s. We both lived in different cities but saw each other often.

We graduated high school together, attended post secondary together and graduated from that, got jobs in our fields, moved out, got married and now living our best lives. I have to say, I really did focus on manifesting this life for us and it’s so amazing looking back now and seeing how it unraveled.

What do you think are the 5 keys to a successful relationship? I’d love to know in the comments below!

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Every relationship is different but because of how my relationship is and how far it’s gone, I’ve gotten a lot of questions and people asking me for advice. I more or less say the same things when telling people about how my relationship with my husband strived for this long.

We definitely have arguments and days where we just need space but at the end of the day, we’re happy and two young kids in love. We did get married fairly young and lot of people we knew were surprised to hear about it!

We’ve taken The 5 Love Languages Quiz before but mine honestly changes every time I take it. I think the most accurate one for me is Act of Service or Receiving Gifts. My husband’s is Quality Time. I think that ours complements each others quite well.

HERE IS 5 Keys To A Successful Relationship:

Understanding

We live in a world where we are always focused on ourselves and our own wellbeing and what our society fails to do is take a step back and understand the other person’s perspective before reacting. I think around our 3 year mark of our relationship was the hardest.

My husband and I are the complete opposites so I kept thinking how its not going to work because he doesn’t want to do the things I want to and vice versa. Once we grasped this and tackled this head on, we started to take the time to understand each other which I think is where the love language quiz comes in handy.

Relationships are 50/50 and you need to think about the other person and what they’re feeling as well as asking them instead of guessing with no judgement. Obviously, there are topics in which trigger a stronger emotions but if you take the time to understand before reacting, you’re mindset ,communication and relationship skills will improve.

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Compromise

This one is a big one if not most important but you win some you lose some. Compromise is a huge factor in decision making in a relationship. If you can’t pick one or the other, it’s best to scrap the ideas and find something that you can both agree on.

There are many arguments you can have in your life that may seem huge at the time but when you look back, these things end up being so minuscule. Pick your battles because the stress is not worth it. Adulting is hard as it is!

Support

Judgement is all around us and unavoidable! You are choosing to be in this relationship so that means you need to be continuously supporting your partner. I don’t need to say how cruel and mean the world can be and that can most often than not change a person.

We all need a lift once in a while whether its to take on a new project to trying a lifestyle change. For myself, my husband is the first person I go to when I’m needing the extra support.

Patience

Great things take time. You put in the work to a relationship and not every week is going to be great but always be patient with each other especially during harder weeks. You never want to say something or do something that you’ll regret so when the time comes, give each other space and be patient with one another.

I’m a very persistent person and sometimes I let it get the best of me especially when my husband and I have just had an argument. I forget that he is entitled to feel his feelings before anything else as am I. You are still your own person inside and outside the relationship.

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Appreciation

We get used to a routine and simply forget to appreciate one another. Showing your appreciation for your partner and all that they do is so important as sometimes they have days where they are not as vocal or maybe not in a mood.

Knowing that you are thankful for them through their bad days is an amazing feeling. The world is so fast paced so understandably we forget to show a little appreciation once in a while.

Here are some simple everyday phrases:

Thank you for cooking dinner tonight

Thank you for being patience with me

Thank you for picking me up tonight

Thank you for supporting me

Your outfit looks so good on you

I love how passionate you are about ________

You make _________ look effortless

I love the way your mind works

Thank you for being understanding

Out of the Habit wrote an amazing post on 30 Ways to Show Your Significant Other You Love Them which are all great ways of showing appreciation!

I could talk about relationships all day long. I am fascinated by relationships with friends/family/partners and I’m also interested in how boundaries play a part.

I am very very thankful for my husband and all that he does to make me a happy babe.

What do you think are the keys to a successful relationship whether it’s friendship or romantic or with family? I’d love to know in the comments below!

Xo,

Lynn

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Comments

  1. All really great tips! My husband and I are approaching our tenth anniversary this winter and I would add “communication” to the list.

  2. I agree with every one of these! And I feel like, for the first time in my life, I’ve found someone who does all these!

    Katie | katieemmabeauty.com

  3. Great tips! I just got into my first formal relationship. We’re both learning a lot here since I’m also his first formal relation! These great are really helpful for us, cause we want to maintain our relationship as healthy as possible!

  5. I loved reading about your personal relationship story! How sweet. Posts like this are so wonderful. If you liked writing this, you should make more in the future! These are such solid tips, especially the one about patience. Being close to someone like that can make you grind each other’s gears now and then. It is important to remember how much you love each other during those moments!

  7. These are such great tips! My partner and I are coming up to our third anniversary and (weirdly enough) COVID was one of the best things that happened to our relationship. Being together 24/7 and helping each other cope worked wonders for our communication, appreciation and also respect of boundaries with each other. Your relationship story is super cute!xx

  9. This is really sweet and great advice! I’m approaching my two year anniversary, and I think one of the most important things has just been reaffirming that the relationship is something we’re willing to give work and time to. Compromise and appreciation are so important too

  11. I haven’t been in a relationship yet but I totally agree with all of these points! I’ve been focusing on having a good relationship with my mom during this lockdown and a lot of it is the same, actually. We have our own lives and different interests but we have to take the time to support each other and spend time catching up. I also make sure to just hug her from time to time. The small things really do matter. I feel like my relationship with her has grown during the pandemic because we’re living only with each other and have finally learnt to have a proper relationship.

    Great post! ?

  12. I love reading this kind of post! Wow, you have met very young, but you had the chance to grow together and i think it’s one of the best things! I am not in a relationship, but all of these can be translated to family and friends too. Compromise, support and understanding are key! Thank you for sharing x

    • Agreed! There are so many wonderful relationships you can have with people and these points are all valid! Thank you so much for reading, Cristina x

  14. All great tips. My OH and I have been together for around 14 years now. Without comprise & understanding especially, we wouldn’t have lasted.

  17. Happy Anniversary Lynn! I love this post! I think appreciation is so important. When you’ve been with a person a long time, it’s easy to forget to say thank you. My partner and I have been together for almost 20 years now, and what has always gotten us through the difficult times is laughter. Some of our worst arguments have ended in laughter, so I would definitely add humour to the list as well. Thanks so much for sharing!

  18. These are all SO SO important! You nailed it girl. Definitely the keys to any relationship. Thanks so much for sharing

  21. Really enjoyed this post. You made great points. Any good relationship requires work on both sides ?=?Thank you for sharing ?

  23. These are very important keys to a successful relationship. I am not in a relationship but this is such good advice. So many relationships fizzle out as soon as they start but relationships would definitely last longer and be more fun if these tips can be incorporated. Communication is very important, boundaries should also be respected, appreciation and patience should be practiced too. I will add that one of the keys to a successful relationship is taking it slow and getting to know and understand your partner as much as you can in the first few months. So many people rush into relationships and end up rushing out just as fast as they rushed into it. I loved this.

  24. All such great tips! I definitely agree, especially with compromise and patience. I would add communication too. My husband and I have been together for almost 19 years and those 3 things are what have kept us going strong! I loved reading about your relationship, too. 🙂

  25. These are all great tips. I agree patience is very important for a successful relationship 🙂

  26. I love this post! During the pandemic I have been in a long-distance relationship, and this has meant that communication is even more important for keeping our relationship strong during the tough times. Thank you for sharing these tips x

  27. Wow, congratulations on your (almost) eight years together! Thanks for sharing these tips. I definitely love the compromise one, I think that is so important in any relationship 🙂

  28. 8 years!! Wow, that’s amazing. Great tips! I totally agree that support and appreciation are big ones. Sometimes it’s the tiniest comments or gestures that make or break your mood. The little things are for sure what make the biggest long term difference x

  29. Love this post, all super important things to remember when it comes to a healthy relationship! Communication and support is key. I think my boyfriend and I have worked on that quite a bit over the last year and I feel like our relationship is much better than it was a couple of years ago x

  30. Great post! My BF and I broke up about a month ago due to the lack appreciation mostly. Even if you know someone loves and appreciates you, it’s still so important to hear every once in a while! I hope to find a relationship like this in the future ?

  31. This is such a beautiful post – and i appreciate how you opened about your own relationship experiences. I totally resonated with you as me and my fiancé are completely opposite people and so we also had to work on compromise to best find middle ground. Thanks for writing this!

  32. I agree with you. Your keys are really true. Here are some others that are important according to me: being respectful of each other, setting boundaries, helping each other to grow instead of trying to change your partner, nurturing your love because you can grow apart with time and love helps overcome it.

  33. Happy 8 year anniversary! This was a really lovely and interesting blogpost. I think for me I try to remember that I learnt as much from relationships that didn’t go so well as I did from those that did go well.

  34. Some lovely words here I agree with all these points. Especially remembering that your partner has a right to there feelings too, I must admit I’m guilty of forgetting that time to time! After 15 years together we fall into ruts so this post is a good reminder to remember why we got married in the first place. I’m going to remember to compliment my husband more!! He really is fantastic no matter how much he annoys me!

  35. 8 years, wow! I’m be coming up to 4 and a half years this month! I think the key to ours is both giving each other time to pursue our hobbies!

    Corinne x

    • Oh yes! A big one. My husband is a gamer so although I don’t understand it, I make sure that he has time for his hobbies as well as I have time for mine 🙂 Thank you for stopping by, Corinne xx

  36. All of these things are so incredibly important. I have been with my husband now for almost a decade and these things have helped us to get to this milestone!

    Danielle | thereluctantblogger.co.uk

  37. What a lovely post and it’s so sweet how you met in school!! Really great tips here, support and compromise are so important!!

  38. These are all so true. I think we can get a little caught up in the Love Languages and forget that there are some common things we ALL need. You nailed it! Thanks for sharing. ?

  39. I’m always surprised by how many lists like this leave out patience… Honestly, it’s such an important aspect to consider! If you aren’t patient with your partner, life is going to be a constant battleground. The fact is, none of us are perfect – not your partner AND not you! If you want your partner to exercise patience with you, then you need to be willing to do the same.

  40. These are all excellent tips and i agree with them love. Some people say love along is enough for a successful a relationship, but it is truly not. Love is good, but without the other components (that you mention), the relationship will not thrive.

    Thanks for sharing.

  41. Great post, I totally agree with all those points you made! Funny, cause I think Year 3 was the hardest for my husband and I too! I think that’s the time where you really start to learn how to work together and it’s not easy! Loved learning more about you and your husband’s journey!

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